Well,
I've been weird lately. Like, sad but more like bored. but really busy. More like bored with all the busy things I'm doing. But people are great, actually getting off my lazy habits is great and I really do learn a lot. and in this moment, I am so grateful. and this post may not really... go anywhere but I just think a lot and these are the things I have been thinking about.
I've been thinking that it's more than just October.
I know it and you know it and God knows it. It's more than just you and me. It's more than buying huge winter coats and finding basketball shorts that go to my knees. It's more than figuring out how many pages I'll have to read a day to finish my books in time. It's bigger than my first huge painting; bigger than packing up my bedroom; bigger than trying to deep clean my house and it's even much bigger than all of upstate New York. I'm feeling the weight of a world that's much heavier than bags under fifty pounds.
I don't know.
I've been weird lately. Like, sad but more like bored. but really busy. More like bored with all the busy things I'm doing. But people are great, actually getting off my lazy habits is great and I really do learn a lot. and in this moment, I am so grateful. and this post may not really... go anywhere but I just think a lot and these are the things I have been thinking about.
I've been thinking that it's more than just October.
I know it and you know it and God knows it. It's more than just you and me. It's more than buying huge winter coats and finding basketball shorts that go to my knees. It's more than figuring out how many pages I'll have to read a day to finish my books in time. It's bigger than my first huge painting; bigger than packing up my bedroom; bigger than trying to deep clean my house and it's even much bigger than all of upstate New York. I'm feeling the weight of a world that's much heavier than bags under fifty pounds.
I don't know.
I'm just feeling a little pointless. I want to be part of something huge. I want to be helping something important to me. Even though I made a commitment when I was 8 to represent Him all the time, I want to wear a name tag that shows it. Even though I'm making notes in my journals for my future children, I want them to be here now. I guess I've already started my own legacy but it's more about all the people who have been through a life long before my little soul came to earth. I guess it's all about PEOPLE. It's all the people who have ever loved me.
Every girl, every boy, every mother, every dad, every hallway friend, every coworker, every teacher, every sister, every brother, every angel who has ever shown me kindness.
I want to be able to give them a hug and tell them how much I love them, but that's just hard for me. I can only leave them with a letter, or a painting or a song that I hope will make them understand how much they mean to me.
I'm ready. I'm soooo ready, Coach.
I know that the world's still spinning but gosh it's moving slow.
29 Days 3 Hours and 18 Minutes
I want to be able to give them a hug and tell them how much I love them, but that's just hard for me. I can only leave them with a letter, or a painting or a song that I hope will make them understand how much they mean to me.
I'm ready. I'm soooo ready, Coach.
I know that the world's still spinning but gosh it's moving slow.
29 Days 3 Hours and 18 Minutes
4 comments:
You have your head in all the right places but don't ever forget the right now. This moment that you are in and what you need and want to do and how you can help others by the decisions you make.
You're gonna be the best. The best at whatever you pursue because you will love it and love others.
"I'm feeling the weight of a world that's much heavier than bags under fifty pounds."
This line. Whoa.
Happy birthday, by the way.
Hope you're doing well, by the way.
Thank you so much! Seriously, I'm way happy that you said that. And I'm doing well most of the time!
I hope you're liking Florida.
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