Anything could happen

Should it be more exciting that I could just jump off a building and scream, "I don't know.. Anything could happen!"
Should uncertainty be more exciting?
I feel like all this "freedom to choose" should be giving me much more of a rush than it is.
Sometimes I'm completely convinced that confusion/uncertainty is the only thing that causes fear.
At least my fear.
It's hard not to want to have such a tight grip on everything. It's hard to remember that I don't have to have it completely together 24/7.
It's hard to remember that it's okay to be human. Totally and completely human.
NOT perfect. Because apparently "perfect" isn't actually an available option right now.

It's the hardest to really let go of the steering wheel and tell myself to just BREATHE. Why worry about things that you have no control over? (you shouldn't)

Some people are so chained and have their entire life planned out for them. I always craved Freedom. But now that I actually have to claim Freedom... I am scared.
I should be happy that I have total control over my actions and reactions.
I should be happy I have some control.
I should be happy.

I AM THE KING OF [MY] WORLD.