To the one that I really love,

I miss when it wasn't so complicated. Not that the world has been stripped of simplicity, but I'm missing when I was 'simplicity'.

You produce simplicity even in the way you walk. Just your presence in the room made breathing a little easier for me. 

You know when an introvert's in love when she gets more happy-energy from being with him than she gets from being with herself. 

I realized I adored you when I saw that my love for you is greater than my love for solitude.

and that means so much to a girl like me.

But now that you're gone, I've spotted one hundred and ten more reasons why I fell in love you.

And, really truly positively, I'm glad that you've been far away because I've spotted it all from a distance and I see much clearer that way. Now my long-going suspicion that I will never take you for granted through "thick and thin" is now affirmed in my ears.

Because I realize I'm in love with you when I read your letters. and re-read your letters. and re-read your letters. I can feel through every subtle nerve in my body that I am totally and completely back again.

I miss myself some days...

So much.

Now, I realize I'm in love with you when I feel that I am the definition of perfect by the things you say to me. And the perfection I feel is content with being completely human. Just like you.

Now, I get to enjoy looking at us. Stepping back and realizing a lot.

Looking at me, walking into my room, seeing the pictures of us on the wall... and not seeing a boy that has been away much too long, but I see me.

I see me in the pictures of us. I see me in the way your hand is pulled around my waist and the pictures I didn't know were being taken and those where I didn't know you were looking at me.

I see me in your neat handwriting. I see me in the small way you draw.

I see me in the way that you move when you're laughing so hard. I see me in the muscles in your back and the curve of your shoulders where my hands have been so many times.

I find me in the wrinkles in the corners of your eyes when you really smile.

I find myself in the way your shirt hangs on you and the way you cup your hands.

I see me in the accidental videos I took while we were driving. I see me in the way you looked at me, more than you looked at the road.

Now...

I get to talk about you.

I get to write about you. 

I get to sing about you and think about you. 

Now I have time to kinda "fan girl" over you and I couldn't really do any of that day-dreamy stuff before because I was always with you, trying to keep up with our next adventure and adoring you with you right in front of me.

I have so much distance time for day-dreaming about us.

Now, distance time is not bad time.

I know that thinking so much is sometimes destructive, but not when it's the way I'm thinking about you.

Because I have a habit of suddenly realizing who you are and how much you love me and how I've gotten the closest to the untouchable you.

And it's makes me cry.

Because I can't think of one day in my life when I've been good enough to deserve it.

(and by 'it' I mean you).

Snails,

Brynnie