WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED

In 5 years time, I expect to see you again. Not goofing around in church next to me. I expect to see you at Costco. You're still single. You've got a little bit of paint still on your ear and you're still wearing that wooden necklace. Which makes me kinda smile in an embarrassed way because "You would."
I'm engaged. You know that. Your family got the invitation in the mail. Oh. I know you know that though- I still read the poetry on your blog. But I don't say that, of course. Of course I ask how you are. I assume you still like to talk about yourself. You do. I tell you how nice it was to see you. I'm trying to finish the conversation. But you say "Will you come get something to eat with me?" You're starving and I realize I am too. You ask me this as I'm preparing my soul to leave.
I think you're joking at first. Maybe you're cruel and insane now. Maybe you've forgotten already that I'm getting married in a month. "What?" Is all I say. Then I start, "Did you not hear-" "You're not married... yet. Nothing is final until you say 'I do'.." "You don't say 'I do' in the temple, Russell" I smirk. "Whatever. Dinner?" I remind you it's 11 am and I am still in my pajamas. "When has that stopped you?" You grab my sweater and pull me towards the exit.
We're walking to your car kinda like stupid teenagers again and my shopping cart is still sitting in the frozen food isle.
It's exciting and so spontaneous, I feel like I used to. But suddenly I remember. I am older now and, now, I know what I should do. I'm mature, I think. No, I am mature in the right way. I've got to be responsible now.
Your driving still scares the crap out of me and brings me back to the things I tried to push under.
But we don't even get to where we are going before I tell you I can't. I say you should take me back. You almost don't complain. You drop me off and dramatically stand there in the parking spot as I drive away in my car. I watch you in the mirror.
Yeah, I can drive now. Yeah, you're still kind of over dramatic. And serious most of the time. I'm sarcastic. I don't care about much. I am a joker, most usually. You like film and I like digital. I like Broadway, you do that dubstep stuff. I like my long hair, you like it short. You like your converse, I like you in Adidas. You're night time and I'm the morning. You're Manhattan and I'm Syracuse. And we are not getting married.
We were never getting married.