SHIfT

Somehow swearing will release something from under my skin that is clouding up everything.

Somehow kicking a hole in the wall would feel really good on my feet right now.

Every time there's a death it makes me want to burn my Dead Journal.

I haven't been able to make myself even get in my bed lately and now I'm just angry.

The heighth of my ignorance is at an all time high right now because I just can't understand the things that are eating me.

Like, I don't understand how people could not believe in a heaven.

How maybe they think that we are only our bodies.

That the most fantastic thing about us is our ability to pump blood through our veins with out blinking an eye.

To some people the heart is just an organ. But I think our soul has it's own heart that does nothing but feel.

I wonder if there are people who believe that. Believe that when we die this thing like a soul, is just going to disenagrate into the air. Dissapear. Vanish. Float up as smoke to join the clouds.

How could someone believe that?

That this is it? 

There is so much more than just sitting at this cold desk here, waiting for school to end. There is so much more than even the big stuff. Much more than the mountains that surround us. So much more than the view from the airplane.

It thrills me. Still it's so hard for me sometimes... It's hard to remember that there's so much more than me and the parts of my heart that are scattered and thumb tacked around the Earth. That there's even more than the parts of me that are tacked to heaven.

There is so much more than you. 

There is so much more for you.

I don't care what you think you can see. 

You are so much more than your skin.